Today’s news story about a woman asked to remove her nipple rings before boarding an airplane — but not the jewelry adorning her navel — is made even more ridiculous by this accompanying photo. The offended boob owner re-enacted her ordeal on a mannequin dressed in an under wire bra. (It was unclear whether the artificial torso sported her own set of nips or not.)
Complete Woman’s February/March issue features an excerpt from bOObs: A Guide to Your Girls on how to find the perfect bra fit for your breasts. To further boost your bosom, enter to win their bOObs book giveaway contest. Check it out on newsstands today.
Hate the way your bra fits? Come to the CRAVE show this weekend (November 3rd and 4th)in Seattle and give “your girls” an instant boob job. The Boob Lady and Bellefleur Lingerie will demonstrate how to put your best breast forward in all your foundations. Learn the ins and outs of bra wear and care, quick tricks to getting a custom fit, and all the breast! We’ll be on stage at 4:00 PM both Saturday and Sunday. Click here to buy tickets to the show.
Do you have a clue about your boob IQ? Do you know why women wear bras? Or how many breasts are perfectly symmetrical? Find out what you need to know about “the girls” when The Boob Lady (aka Elisabeth Squires) tests Whitney and Wyatt’s knowledge about all things related to breasts at http://www.whitneyandwyatt.com/.
(No time for regular TV? No problem! Whitney and Wyatt’s bite-sized, magazine-style shows are always under five minutes long. Knowledge and uplift in one quick click!)
Okay, I agree that Senator Clinton’s cleavage isn’t really newsworthy (her dress much tamer than nearly all mainstream lingerie advertising), but boobs in the news are my business. The Washington Post recently ran a lengthy article noting the appearance of décolleté on the otherwise often conservatively-dressed Clinton. Her campaign staffers responded with indignation, asking supporters to elevate the political discussion beyond dressing her chest, but not missing an opportunity to ask for contributions to her campaign chest. At least that was CNN Newswire’s take on the topic, the day I decided to leave my brief comment on the power of boobs in our society. But alas, The Boob Lady’s ™ post was promptly deleted. How did I offend? Judge for yourself:
Advertisers use cleavage to sell everything from bras to beer. It’s created by pressing breast flesh together; not by letting breasts rest naturally (sans bra) on a woman’s chest. Many people find it difficult to ignore this type of breast exposure; even more so if it’s attached to a celebrity. An over-abundance of cleavage in the media hasn’t lessened its appeal, either. If it had, there wouldn’t be an on-going market for bras and other foundations that create such special effects. Studies show that even the size of a woman’s breasts can impact how she is viewed in both a professional and personal setting. Boobs are powerful, and–by definition—can turn otherwise intelligent people into complete “boobs.”
The real story may be that Senator Clinton was just having a bad bra day. (Like most women, she probably wears hers too big in the band and too small in the cup.) Had she worn some other foundation, we might never have had that ever-so-slight peek at her girls. Then we’d be engaged in intelligent discourse about her position on the education bill (the topic of her speech), rather than what she wore to the podium. Yeah…right.
Please welcome to the world the cover for my book, available this October from Seal Press. Give it up for my girls, please!
What’s the most loving day in February? Not Valentine’s Day, but the day before. February 13th is Dead Bra Day, named by Sue Richards of Breast of Canada to celebrate better breast health. It’s a day to show some real love to your “girls” by tossing out your tattered tit-slingers and replacing them with more supportive foundations. Let’s be honest, most of our everyday bras can’t last the year, unless we’re hand washing and hanging them to dry. And if you haven’t been fitted since last Valentine’s Day, it’s about time you paid attention to these appendages which lay so close to your heart.
Those of us tired of the daily torture can rip off our wired cages without guilt. Experts agree there’s no medical reason to wear a bra. They won’t stop your breasts from sagging. That’s got more to do with your DNA than whether you’re strapped into the right cup size. Women wear them for convenience and fashion. It’s easier to keep our breasts confined during the work day; and more fun to place a perky pair aloft for an evening out. Which brings us to another good reason to celebrate Dead Bra Day: your sweetheart is sure to appreciate any gift you give to your tits. Proving the old saying that what’s good for your boobs is also good for a gander. (Thank you, Sue Richards!)
© 2007
All Rights Reserved
Ever owned a bra you couldn’t wait to take off? Or one you loved so much, you wore it to shreds? Now you can ”mammorialize” your most beloved or detested brassieres at my now live (yet honoring the dearly departed) Bra-soleum!
Check it out at http://www.booksonboobs.com/?bra-soleum.php. Doesn’t something so close to your heart deserve a decent burial?
Are sexy lingerie models (wearing little more than Santa hats) tempting you to enter the wild and wacky world of intimate apparel purchasing? Perhaps you’d like to buy your sweetie an attractive bra and panty set, to lift her…holiday spirits. But you cruised some internet sites and got bogged down by all the styles and sizing choices. Never fear. The Boob Lady is here to help. All you need are these three simple rules.
Rule #1: Think Outside the Bra. For you, lingerie is a lot like gift-wrapping: nice to look at but more fun to remove. For her it’s about comfort, fit and practical care in a stylish (read sexy, not trashy) package. You know what she likes and dislikes in her outerwear, so apply that knowledge to what lies beneath. Is she more comfy in jeans and tees or dressed up in high heels? Does she wear subtle patterns or pastels, or prefer bold, bright, and shiny colors? Steer clear of heavily textured, accessorized or armored garments that show more of themselves than her figure. Strive for flirty and functional and she’ll wear your gift more often.
Rule #2: Guarantee the Fit. You’ve made the perfect choice and are ready to complete your purchase. But you’re frozen by the question from the helpful sales clerk: “so….what’s her size?” (Note: “average” is not a size.) You could go home and rummage through her clothes drawers, trying to read the faded, multi-numbered and lettered tags. Then there’s the question of which size is really the right one, since different manufacturers’ bras don’t all fit alike. (The Boob Lady doesn’t need to tell you that buying her the wrong size does nothing to warm the fires of her heart, much less your hearth.) Glance at some price tags and buy a gift card in that amount. Think that’s too boring? Not if you make your gift more memorable with Rule #3.
Rule #3: Packaging Counts. A beautifully wrapped present is more exciting to open. Don’t just stick your gift card in an envelope, and toss it under the tree. Ask the sales clerk to put it in a special box with sachets for her dresser, or fancy soaps and lotions for her bath. Pick out some cute panties (hint: medium is a size) to let her know what you’d like to see her wear. Consider adding your own homemade certificate: offering a foot massage, a dinner out, or get-a-way without the kids.
Play your Santa cards right, and you’ll give her a gift that keeps on giving, all year round!
© 2006
All Rights Reserved
Expectant moms are often described as radiant, but who knew they’d shine their brightest in lingerie? Bella Materna’s runway models at the Lingerie Americas New York trade show this summer were stunning. I watched as bra buyers, usually surrounded by spray-tanned, uber-thin models, were treated to a new site: real pregnant women in the finest maternity wear. Bella Materna’s five year old Seattle-based business is booming, with women snapping up their sexy and fully functional lacy nursing bras, cute camis, nursing sports bras and loungewear. Their transitional maternity line was created to outfit the morphing mommy-body from zero to delivery and back again.
Even when you’re not pregnant, finding the right fit can be the biggest challenge in buying a bra. No worries, since Bella Materna keeps a fit specialist on hand five days a week. You’ll find bras ranging from 32-40, in C-G cups. And even if you order the wrong size, they’ve got a quick and easy return policy. Bella Materna is definitely on the cutting edge of a new trend in bump-inspired lingerie. For more in the sexy, mommy-to-be category, check out Agent Provocateur’s line of maternity and postnatal wear. What better way to celebrate your new baby than to look and feel beautiful at the same time?
