For a truly entertaining and creative display of breasts, don’t miss Breasts of the Northwest II: Return of the Ta-Tas, at Lowell Art Works in Everett, Washington. The show opens November 15th and runs through December 20th. What better way to wish someone an uplifting holiday season than to give them the gift of boob art?
It’s Tuesday, I’m bored, and the Urban Pixie sent me this great little link. Go ahead, get random and name your girls. (Mine were Mork and Mindy.)
Some might enjoy waxing spherically to the John Mayer song, “Gravity,” with just a minor change in the lyrics. The following is offered with sincere apologies to Mr. Mayer and respect for his artistry, but also assuming (correctly, I hope) that he greatly admires all boobs.
Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh I’ll never know what makes these mounds
Of flesh and fat, stay up – not down
But dream someday, their lift will go away
Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can’t sustain like one half could
It’s wanting more
That’s gonna send us to her knees
Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
Oh gravity has taken better boobs than me now how can that be?
Please welcome to the world the cover for my book, available this October from Seal Press. Give it up for my girls, please!
Ever thought about twirling your girls in a pair of pasties? I hadn’t, until researching “all things boob” for my book. I’d heard burlesque theater was making a comeback, and noted its influence in new styles at this summer’s Lingerie Americas trade show in NYC. What I didn’t know is that Seattle is home to Ms. Indigo Blue and her Academy of Burlesque. Ms. Indigo offers a two-hour tassel twirling class to any boob-owner willing to give it a try. That’s where your ever-inquisitive bOOb Lady found herself a couple of weeks ago; taking her own girls out for a spin along with 20 other delightful (and delighted) women.
On a sunny Saturday afternoon, our mostly unknown-to-one-another group arrived at Ms. Indigo’s studio. We picked out pasties from Twirlygirl.net, if we hadn’t brought along our own. (They come in small, medium, and large, just like us!) Then we sat down to learn: how to identify a quality tassel; which adhesives work best; how to place the pasties to both enhance and/or detract from any personal flaws; how to take them off without pain; and, finally…ta-ta…how to give ‘em a spin.
Standing in a room full of mirrors, I wondered if I’d be the first to flunk the class. I’m not physically coordinated or athletic; I wasn’t sure my girls were the proper size or had the lift to do the job. But there’s more than one way to twirl a tassel. You can shimmy, shake, bounce on your toes, lean to one side or another, or grab a breast and twirl it on its own. Each move results in a different circular motion. Turns out, it wasn’t much of a challenge to get them going in opposite directions, although you needed concentration and control to keep up the momentum. With our nipples fully covered (a la Janet Jackson), we didn’t even feel exposed.
Within a few minutes, the room was filled with giggling and loud laughter. We quickly applauded those who mastered a move, and encouraged others still trying. We represented a wide array of ages, sizes, and shapes. By the end of class, I was sticky with sweat and spirit gum. One woman turned to me to say she needed to rush home to nurse her 4-month old. Another was celebrating her birthday with a trio of friends. Many of us were in awe of the professionals who do this for a living. One thing we all left with: a renewed sense of pride in our girls.
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